Allow me to begin by saying that my salvation was in no way dramatic in any way imaginable. God's act of salvation did not come in the form of a bolt of flashing light or in the rolling drone of thunder which bade me stop in my tracks and turn away from some self destructive sinful path. It was more a soft, whispering invitation to put down my burdens and cares and rest everlastingly under the shelter of His almighty arm and providential wisdom. This soft request at the very beginning of my religious life has set the overtone of my life for the past 7 or so years. Growing up, I have had to deal with a great many personal problems which have caused me a great deal of personal distress. I was undersized and had impaired motor skills which resulted from a traumatic premature birth. I always felt somehow rejected by my peers, like I was to be the perennial outcast for my unusual way of speaking and acting. This filled me with an absolute self loathing and sensation that I would never amount to anything. I began to avoid my problems, to avoid any potentially risky situation at all costs as I had an overwhelming fear of failure; and as a result, my life began to degrade in quality. I metamorphosed into a melancholy shade with nothing to anticipate in the comings days save shame and compounded pain. With Christ on my side, however, I have been able to cope with my problems, to tackle the various "demons" in my path to some extent. I have learned to put my trust in God and it is by this faith alone that life becomes tolerable. I find that my faith gives me strength to endure the rigors of each day and I believe that without His help I would never be the individual that I am today, the individual that I could never have possibly seen myself being some years ago. I will never say that my problems instantaneously vanished. I obviously have not fully evolved (nor will I ever, as long as I live on this earth) and have neither perfect faith, nor the strength of will to be perennially obedient, but I am stronger and more fully satisfied with life than I could ever be, if I had chosen to sojourn this road of life alone. I know that my story is not an exceptional one. I know that many students suffer from heartache, disillusionment and fear and it is to you who I dedicate the following few passages of hope:
Dark is the sky! And veiled the unknown morrow!
Dark is life's way, for night is not yet o'er; the longed
For glimpse I many not meanwhile borrow; but this I
Know and trust, HE GOES BEFORE.
Dangers are near! And fears my mind are shaking;
Heart seems to dread what life may hold in store;
But I am His-He knows the road I'm taking,
More blessed even still-HE GOES BEFORE.
(Lyrics by J. Danson Smith)
And finally I would like to relate Isaiah 26: 2-3 which has been my source of hope and joy over the past years and months.
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord for ever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock Eternal."
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